Naturelle Industriel

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I believe losing ones innocents through rape is one the most heinous crimes imaginable. Not even murder is as heinous of a crime as rape. Rape leaves one with the torturous memories of the violation while murder ends in a cold sleep. So when I read the two poems about rape, “I might have dreamed this” by Kristen Dierking and “Violet Violence (The Deflowering)” which author is unknown. I was looking for how the writers displayed the horrid effects of rape. Even though, these two poems have a lot common it is the subtle difference in the mood and rhythm makes Violet Violence a better poem.

The mood in, “I might have dreamed this” is represented as a surreal naturalistic dream like setting. Dierking compares many aspects in the way she feels to nature. For Example, words like energy, birds, night, and avalanches expresses the writer’s innocents, purity and anger. Even though, these words work well to justify her innocents they don’t work well to show her anger and humility. With lines like,” Energy birds swarmed from my brain” and “ I never slept. I did these things lying down.” are too timid to show anger and disbelief of rape. However, the line that worked well and brought us into her surreal dream world was, “ I set dolls rolling. Back and forth. Like a breathing sound.” In this line the mood was well set showing the doll, as her innocence while the breathing was the tugger war between the reality of rape and disbelief. I would have like see more lines like this.

For me, rhythm in poetry is very important part of the experience. Rhythm should drive the poem forward or jump one around to make one feel the meaning of the poem. Somehow Kristen Dierking misses this in her poem. The non-rhythmic nature of the poem was awkward. Maybe she was trying to show the awkwardness of being raped but somehow it didn’t work. Furthermore, the grouping of the text made it hard to keep any rhythm that might have existed. Sentence were sliced apart sitting alone on different lines. For instant

Using only my night-powered




eyes, I pushed the lamp

to the dressers edge.

I buried the mirrors

in avalanches of freshly

laundered underpants.

I believe grouping these sentences in this fashion did not have the effect the author indented, unless it was to aggravate the reader.

“Violet violence (the deflowering)” is a poem I found written on a napkin at a local coffee shop in Hollywood. I was so intrigued by it I had to keep it. This poem’s mood is very different from “I might have dreamed this”. Violet Violent replaces Kristen Dierking’s naturalistic serenity of innocents with the industrial ware and tare of innocents lost. Using words like rust, metallic, aluminum, wires and corrosion really gets the feeling of loathing that comes with rape. One of my favorite lines in the poem is, “there is a corrosion in my soul that holds a most terrible secret tainted innocence.” The imagery used here exploits the mood of this person who has been raped. The writer is letting the reader in on this terrible secret. Another great explicit line is “ aluminum touches of lust the sharp pain, the blood wires ripped.” This shows the coldness in which the rapist took the girls virginity. These lines are bold unlike the weak verses of “I might have dreamed this.” Furthermore, the author never states this is about rape but through reading the poem one discovers it is. The author is showing, making you feel the rape, not using the word rape in the poem like Dierking’s poem.

Unlike Dierking’s poem there is no question of a solid rhythm in Violet Violence. It chants like a roller coaster ride moving fast and then slow at times. The rhythm of this poem takes you away from the words allowing you to feel the poem and embrace it. This is what Archibald MacLeish was talking when he stated, “A poem should be wordless as the flight of birds” (0). This poem is easy to read because of the rhythm and makes Dierking’s poem seem inferior in contrast.

Through mood and rhythm I believe I have shown why I like Violet Violence more then “I might have dreamed this.” However, poems work differently for different people just because I didn’t like it doesn’t mean someone else won’t. That’s what makes poetry so wonderful and so frustrating to write. I also don’t believe “I might have dreamed this” is a horrid poem I was just exploiting some of the weaker parts of the poem. I like Violet Violence better because of how it makes me feel and that is what a poem is suppose to do.

Works Cited

Dierking, Kristen. I might have dreamed this. Holy Cow! Press. 001. Oct 0, 00.

http//www.poets.org/poems/poems.cfm?4544B7C000C04040D71

MacLeish, Archibald. “Ars Poetica”. Reading for Writers. Boston, MA

Thomson/Heinle. 004.

“Violet Violence (the deflowering)”

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